I Lost My Train of Thought When...

Warning: This series of posts is not for eyes under 16 at least... but they are life centered and I'll try to keep them safe for all ages to read.

Inspiration comes to me at the oddest times. This series of short stories centers around incidents that cause me to lose my train of thought. The story ideas are real, but the stories themselves are fiction. 
Why? 
Instead of torturing myself over the loss of a thought during a conversation--how I hate when that happens-- I've decided to torture the creators of the incidents by using them in my writing. Make sense? I didn't think so. Enjoy my lost train of thoughts...

Image Credit: https://www.kisspng.com/png-train-of-thought-information-clip-art-logistics-cl-1402799/


Two Drunk, Naked Guys Entered the Highway


We'd just left a business meeting with our other two partners and were a few miles from home. I love business meetings because they inspire me, and I'm usually wound up with creative energy afterwards.

Driving discussion was lively and overwhelming as ideas flowed. In the middle of my spoken thought, a car entered the highway and moved to the slow lane, as should be.  I signaled and moved to the fast lane to pass, but that didn't happen because the car swerved across the while dashed line.

That's when we met Larry and Darryl (you remember those names, don't you?). The two drunk, naked guys in the swerving, slow Chevy. This incident was so crazy, it couldn't be true, could it? 

In my state of astonished shock, I listened as Larry profusely apologized. It was difficult to follow as he stood next to my window without a stitch of clothing above his feet. He wore socks and shoes. I tried to focus on them as I listened, because I couldn't move my eyes upward.

My business partner, and daughter, sat in the passenger seat, her fingers tapping on her phone, her laughter uncontrollable. I hoped she was calling 911, but judging by my peripheral view of her actions, she was probably texting a friend, or posting the event on Facebook, or elsewhere in her social circle.

Was that sirens, I heard as two or three more passing cars honked and swerved. I think one even made a U-turn just to affirm what he saw.

I wished I wasn't seeing it.

"Excuse me, can you please cover yourselves?" I shaded my eyes with hand to turn away from dingy socks and old sneakers.

Larry kept apologizing.

Is that a siren? Hope tuned my ears to it. No! Did anybody call the police. This was turning into cruel and unusual torture!

A passing pick up truck side swiped a car while the driver rubbernecked to confirm his sighting of the two moons on Highway 31.

The two vehicles pulled to the shoulder and the drivers soon joined us.

Larry and Darryl were drawing a crowd. 

I didn't want to hear what I was seeing. I tried to shut it out by looking out over the hood of my car at the beat up Chevy Impala parked in front of me. My eyes took in the approaching accident victims and their recording cell phones. 

This was a prank. It had to be. I glanced in my mirror searching for cameras. Maybe it was an episode of that stupidly funny late night show, Impractical Jokers. To prove it, I had to look at Larry's and Darryl's faces, but my neck seemed to be stuck in a forward facing position as I tried to blur my left eye's peripheral view. 

I know my mouth was wide open.

What did I have to do to make them go away? 

Eyes averted, I focused my ears.

"Dude, I'm sorry. It slipped out of my hand while I was driving..." Larry said for the millionth time. 

My daughter whispered, "That's what she said."

"I told him I would get it!" Darryl added.

My daughter doubled over with laughter. The two other drivers laughed behind their phones.

Two more vehicles touched doors as they drove past. Two more cell phone faces joined the crowd. 

Had anyone called 911?

"If you guys are okay, let me get my insurance card and we can swap out." Larry was saying as he patted his bare glute. "Oh, dude, where's my wallet? Dude somebody stole my wallet!" This mildly amused comment was directed at Darryl.

"What? Man, why would somebody do that? You ain't got nothin'!"

"You got your wallet, right?" Darryl patted his bare glutes. "No, man! Somebody took my wallet, too!"

"Dude we gotta go back to the house and get money so we can buy some chips and beer!" Darryl said.

I reached for my wallet, not to get my insurance card and license. 

Without looking, I floated a twenty dollar bill out the window by its corner. 

Why should I be the only one to endure Larry and Darryl in all their glory?

"Whoa, thanks lady! That should cover the damage!" Larry pulled the twenty from between my finger and thumb.

To squelch the bubble of laughter rising from my gut, I squeezed my eyes shut.

"And buy us some beer and munchies!" Darryl added.

They proceeded to the old Chevy, forgetting about the insurance card, the accident, the highway patrol that hadn't been called. 

As Larry and Darryl moved toward their car, I turned my head, switching my view to the crowd. Because those drivers had slowed their speed before approaching us, none had been injured, so they willingly swapped information and returned to their vehicles.

I watched Larry's taillights as the car moved further away from me. 

I sat on the shoulder of the road until I could no longer see them. Other cars whooshed by us.

I inhaled deeply to clear my head. How would I explain this to my insurance company? I thought. My daughter's laughter subsided and she wiped away tears.

"What was I talking about?" I asked her as I entered the empty highway, maintaining a slow enough speed that I would not encounter Larry and Darryl again before reaching my home.


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